Playground....TV......MOBILE....What is the right choice?

The topic seems little weird. Right? Few days back, a friend of mine visited my home. I saw her 8 years old son continuously playing games on the mobile and she was not even trying to stop him. I asked her why was she not asking him to stop. She said that he just does not listen to her.

So, I spoke to him 'Anuj, why don't you go out and play with kids. See there are many kids in the playground and they are playing cricket.'
Without looking towards me he said 'No aunty, I am fine. I don't like going out and play.' I was surprised. Then my friend said 'Dear you know what...there is no park or playground in my society where kids can play. Neither any in my vicinity also. I did try a lot. But couldn't help Anuj in styaing away from the mobile. He does not even like watching TV. Tell me what to do. He does not have friends also. All of them stay quiet far. So I am left with no other option.'

I could see the fear and also worry in her eyes. Was Anuj at fault? I believe he was not. There are many such places where there is mo place for the kids to play. Earlier they used to stick to the TV and watch cartoons. But now, slowly and steadily mobile games are replacing these cartoons also. We are now asking the kids to watch TV rather than playing games on mobile.

We as parents are in a dilemma as to what to do? In the absence of a playground...where does our child go for playing or for recreation activities?

We have left the kids with no option. And as an individual even they get bored with one particular thing and want to try different things. Keeping them away from mobile is becoming tough nad tough everyday. We as parents need to monitor and be vigilant on their use of mobile.

Blessed.....

It was a cozy evening. I was enjoying my evening tea and watching my 5 years daughter play with her dolls. I got stuck at a point when I saw her pretending a "Mother". She was treating her dolls like her baby..making them have their breakfast..and all the chores that she does along with me. I just wanted to capture that moment in my eyes and so....I closed them and started to recap. 
And I went 6 years down the lane while rewinding. The day when I had my pregnancy test and got the results confirmed that soon I shall be a MOM and my dear husband a DAD. And we started to enjoy each and every moment of my 9 months of incredible journey of pregnancy....
And the day came when our ANGEL stepped in. I can till date remember those lights in the OT. My gynae and the Anaesthisist making me relax before the opertaion. I was half concious and in few min I heard a loud cry. Oh she was out...she was in this world. 
That kiss on my forehead that my Husband gave me that day was the most beautiful and precious one.....and said "I am blessed to have you and you have again blessed me with this little angel. I luv you".
It was a c-section and the pain was really bad. But everytime I saw my Angel...pain used to vanish like anything. And my journey as a Mother started...sad...happy...joy...tears.. pain...everything and all for her...I just could bear because I had become a Mom. From somewhere that patience...that strenghth..those tricks...came within me. And one day my husband said " You know you are so lucky. You as a female is blessed by the God to give birth and bring a life on the earth. Only you know how it feels...only you know the pain and only you can feel that happiness. I really sometimes feel jealous of you". 
That day I realised how true he was. God has Blessed each and every human being with some unique quality. And the uniqueness of giving birth is a Blessing to all the womanhood. 
And I opened my eyes to see that Blessing blossom. 
So dear Moms...stay blessed and just see them blossom.
Happy Reading!

Phoenix Again.....

I have failed. Oh! I failed again. Where did I go  wrong? Where was my fault? Everytime this happens only with me. I almost reach my Goal and then something happens and I am drifted away from it. Why me? And only me?

Huh...and many such questions in mind. I fail everytime I try to do something. And I lose my confidence. But how many times should I fail? And how many times should I give the exams of life?

Can anyone one on this Earth answer this to me? Or may be the Almighty...?

Have we all not come a across such questions..such dilemmas.....when we saw ourselves failing at each and every point of life?

What do we do at that point of time? How do we try to come back to the normal world and start afresh? Someone suggests to read positive news only...some says to read motivational books...some says 'whatever happens...happens for the good'....blah...blah...

But honestly nothing works. I have went through such phase for a long time and tried everything to keep my thoughts and myself positive. And it was never like that before. Successful in the career...a sound financial back up....no looking back....but then something somewhere went wrong and these things went away from me. Since then I have been trying to rise....but only failing.

One evening when I was struggling with these questions in my mind, my 5 years toddler came and sat beside me saying 'You are the best Mama...you are always with me. Thank you Mama'. Was I? I mean, I felt like a Phoenix rising out of the ashes...her words were so motivating that I decided to do something again. And that something was to write....to write my experiences and feelings to the world I am unaware of.

May be someone...somewhere...someday may rise like Phoenix after reading my blog....

A Turning Point.....

I believe that the first school of every child starts at home. As it is aid “As you sow …so shall you reap”..

Yesterday, my evening walk turned to be a challenging lesson for my life when I saw my neighborhood 10 year boy talking harshly to one of his class mate. They both perhaps were returning from coaching class.

When I asked about his schooling, he named one of the most reputed schools in the state. He always seemed much disciplined to me.  Of course his parents must be working hard to make him a good Human Being. But he lacked a basic discipline; like dealing with opposite gender.

For any child aged about 5 years plus, one of the most important places for learning, along with home is School. But in today’s cut throat competitive world many parents only care about grades or very high %ages. The belief is “grade is the future”. However, what is important, as per me is a child’s advancement.

It was an eye opener for me being a mother of a four year old. I was disheartened seeing a boy of hardly 10 years behaving inappropriately with his class mate of opposite gender. At this stage, I felt, parents should interfere and teach their child how to deal with opposite gender and show them respect.  Be it a boy or girl. Such activities if controlled and taken care at an early stage, can help in avoiding any disaster later. Only good or higher education does not play building the character, good child advancement also has equal weight in one’s life.

Hence, as parents and family we should try to nurture a child's behaviour in a positive and proper manner; rather to say, in a disciplined way.

Ps: It was just an observation from me from that small incident with that kid. Request not to take it personally

Making Candidates wait for Interview -Acceptable??

Talent Acquisition is an HR process that not only comprises of arranging and conducting interviews with the candidates, but involves a lot of steps. An end to end recruitment cycle sees the beginning from Manpower Planning for any particular department - preparing of JD and KRA - searching of relevant candidates thru various internal/external sources - talking to them - convincing them if any challenging position has been created or if the CTC is not as per Market Trend - understanding their skills - scheduling them (one of the most toughest part of the cycle as the time of the Interviewer and the candidate has to match as per their convenience)- Shooting interview mails to both the parties and making sure that the candidates reach the venue 5-10 min before the interview -----------------------------

And at the day of Interview..candidates reach at the scheduled time and venue..but when the recruiter informs the Interview Panel, to his/her surprise most of the panel members are in some very urgent and unplanned meeting..and others having least idea when shall the meeting get over.

What does a recruiter do ? Goes out and applogise the candidate and assures that it shall be done asap.

But least aware of the exact time, the recruiter only keeps running from pillar to post. I have faced this situation number of times in my previous Organisations. And like me many other recruiters must have faced. I have seen the meetings going on the entire day and the candidate sitting ideally throughout. Sometimes they leave without giving interview, sometimes they wait, if we had an outstation candidate, we always asked him to have an extra day in his hand. But is this really acceptable? A lot of effort goes in even calling a single candidate, because we see that candidate as a closure for the position. I respect the meetings and the discussions that are unplanned, but do not we as an Organisation should try to overcome such scenario. What impression does this leave on the candidate? Calling him/ her the second time becomes a herculion task. The recruiter is the face of the Organisation because the first interaction of the candidate started with him/her only. So the recruiter has to answer the candidate and also the HOD. It is such a tricky situation...if the candidate does not turn up for the interview ...the recruiter is responsible..and if the interview does not happen due to such unplanned and urgent meetings..then also the recruiter has to face the candidate.

I am never in the favour of making any candidate wait for an inetrview, especially when it is all planned. We only tend to loose the right talent. The time of the candidates needs to be respected and as an Organisation any delay in the Interview process should be avoided.

Are we really able to have Work Life Balance?

Are we really able to have Work Life Balance?


Is it really easy to maintain a Work Life Balance? Nowadays, Corporates arrange Training Programmes, Yoga Classes, Seminars to educate employees on how to maintain a Work Life Balance. But does it really work? As an employee, are we really able to follow those steps or lessons?

Today everyone is working towards getting a good PMS Rating. Working to meet deadlines, working to be the Best Performer, working towards achieving the targets, sometimes hectic weekends also, late working hours also. We can't afford to miss the deadlines because Corporate Life is becoming Competitive day by day. Not able to meet the targets...PMS rating is down. As such nowadays, Organisations are hardly following the Bell Curve...

Reaching early.......returning late to home. How to go out for a dinner with family (promised long time back), when I have an unplanned Top Management meeting the next day and I have to prepare reports?? Happens almost with everyone. How to deal with it? Someone has to suffer and its saying no to the family dinner and promising for some other day.

I believe that it is the Management responsibility to device effective mechanism and tools, where in employees are able to maintain Work Life Balances. A "Top Down  Approach" of maintaining this balance can only work.

10 Recruitment Etiquettes make you stand apart as a Recruiter

10 Recruitment Etiquettes make you stand apart as a Recruiter


Following proper recruitment etiquettes would not only add value to the Organization, but also to the recruiter. Just like recruiters look for certain qualities in the job seekers, most of the job seekers also expect decent etiquettes from the recruiters of an Organization.

Job seekers usually have 2 or more offers in their hands, but what makes them choose the best offer? Is it always the pay package? Not really. While interacting with my last recruit I came to know that the reason he joined our company is good recruitment process and employee friendly atmosphere. Here are the ‘10 etiquettes’ if not more.

1)When calling a candidate ensure that he/she is not busy and has time to listen to you attentively seek his/ her permission for discussion. Like asking ‘Hi, I am ……. from X company, is it the right time to talk to you?’

2)First check the interest of the candidate whether he/she is currently looking for job change from his/her present assignment. Like inquiring ‘Are you currently looking for a job change?’

3)If the candidate is interested discuss the Job opening in detail. Discuss the designation, remuneration, Job Profile.

4)Always send an email once the conversation is over saying ‘Thank You’ and do not forget to attach a copy of the Job Profile.

5)Whenever an Interview is scheduled first check the availability of the candidate and then send a mail heading’ Interview Schedule’ and full details of the interview like place of Interview, date and time of interview, Contact Person, Address of the venue.

6)Do not keep a candidate waiting for long, it irritates them. If the interview is taking a long time to start then offer him tea/ coffee with some snacks. Keep meeting him at regular intervals so that he/she does not feel bored.

7)Always try to provide the feedback to the candidate.

8)If an Interviewed candidate asks feedback over the mail do provide them, do not ignore. Remember they are our word of mouth for other candidates.

9)Always be in touch with the selected candidates. Remember you 'the recruiter'
is the face of Organization and the candidate feels comfortable with you.

10)The recruitment team is responsible for proper handing over the selected candidate to the Organization till the time of On Boarding.

Yellow Paper or White Paper for Writing Resume

Often we wonder why “I am not getting any calls” from the recruiter despite meeting all the requirements. We keep on updating and posting and re-posting our Resume on the leading job portals. We keep on applying and waiting… so what you should do? Will you print your resume in a yellow sheet to get noticed? Not really…

One fine day a representative from a leading job portal calls you and says “Dear…… your resume is in an outdated format, if you pay us (any X amount) we shall get it done in the best format (AS PER THEM) and you shall be noticed by the Employers”. So what they will do print your resume in a yellow sheet? Not at all…

Does the presentation of your resume  really matter? Or is it the “Matter” in the Resume that matters?

Many would like to know the recruiters working either in Corporate or Manpower Consultancy; how do they evaluate the resume of an Individual?

I have been into recruitments for almost 10years. I worked with leading Manpower Sourcing firms as well as a large corporate house. What matters is not the presentation but the work the person has done and exhibited in his/her career. He might be an excellent performer but may not be able to present his skills in the right way on a paper. It’s the recruiter’s responsibility to evaluate a resume on the basis of the experiences and not on how good the resume is looking. An individual must have written so many things in his/ her resume that he/she may or may not be doing. Thanks to social network sites, personality of the candidates could easily be assessed. The next day you call such a person for an Interview and you can very well see the result.

“In my opinion it’s in the eyes of the Recruiter to judge the right resume of the right fit for Organization

When my daughter broke her Pink Shades

Let me start my blog today with a question to all of you. What is the best method to teach a child? With 'teaching' I mean, any discipline, a lesson of life, or even their day-to-day studies. I believe that it can be done through examples and acts. In schools also, the best method of teaching is through variety of activities. And this is what happened with my 5-year-old daughter who learned 'how to keep her things safely and take care of them' by losing her favorite pink shades.

Like any other toddler, she plays and jumps all around the house. I always tell her to keep all her toys in their place once she is through with her playing. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn’t, leaving me angry and annoyed. She has her favorite pink shades that she always wears when going out and even while playing at home. That day, she was playing with it in the balcony. I kept telling her repeatedly to take care of her shades as it might fall down and break. And she always assured me that she is taking care of them and so I should not worry. 

I was reading the newspaper when I heard her shout, "Mama, my shades fell down. Please bring it or they will break". I said, "Fifi, I told you to take care of them, then how did they fall down?"

'I had kept it on the edge and it slipped from there Mama. I am sorry. Please let us go down and bring them." And she was crying bitterly. We were about to go when a car passed by and crushed her shades in front of her. And she cried at her loudest pitch. 

It took me a long time to calm her down. I asked her, "Was it your mistake? Will you from now onwards take care of your things?"

She hugged me and said, "I am sorry Mama. From now, I shall always take care of all my toys and things. Please buy me a new one."

Yes, I felt a bit bad to see her cry, but then she had learned a valuable lesson. And till date she takes utmost care of all her toys, books, and accessories. 

Many-a-times, small incidents occurring in and around us help us to teach our children critical and key lessons. And these do leave a big impact on them.

Happy Reading!

A Glass of water...

Reema stood at house door carrying two heavy luggages, waiting for someone to come and help her. She and Raman (her husband) have returned after 2 months. Raman had underwent a major Heart Surgery at Delhi and now had come back to his home. His parents were naturally very excited to see him stand healthy and fit. They hugged him and took him inside his room. Their two children, one 12 yrs and other 10 yrs, were also very excited to see their dad return back. They held his hands and along with their grandparents took him to his room.

But no one noticed Reema, standing just back of her husband, carrying two heavy luggages?? Neither her in laws nor her children asked her "How are you Mom? You must be tired. Please give us your bag". Reema was so shocked to see this.

Somehow she managed to come inside and then her maids took the luggage from her. Is it only Raman who mattered to them?? Yes, it is true he underwent a major Heart Surgery, but what about Reema who was alone present there for him at the hospital and in that unknown city. From diagnostic, to mediclaim, to medicines, taking Raman to washroom, feeding him, everything was Reema's responsibility. Her sleepless nights, praying for Raman, sitting all day beside him, consulting the doctors, paying the bills, getting medicines. Was that an easy task? But not even a single time did Reema ever call any of them from home, because she knew that her in laws are old and they shall be in tension. Also the children shall not understand the situation and unnecessarily panic.

Was not she tired? Did not she deserved rest? Today if Raman was standing healthy and fit, then it was all because of Reema who was present for him 24/7 as a nurse, as a wife, as a mother, as a friend. At least someone could have asked her for A GLASS OF WATER. 

Reema is a housewife, and hardly goes out of her home. But when Raman had pain in his chest and he was suggested by the doctors to be taken to Delhi, Reema just did not waste a single moment and took him to Delhi. She never thought how would she manage, she just thought about Raman's health.

There are many Reemas in this world, who just slog themselves in household activities. They forget that even they have life to live. Even they deserve some rest. And shockingly when children grow up, even they forget what their Moms have been doing for them and what do they deserve....

But Why Mom?????

A cool Friday it was, and me and my friend made up a plan for our little girls, mine 5 yrs old and her's 11 yrs old. So we took them for a surprise movie."Beauty and the Beast". Both were very excited...ate popcorn, drank soft drinks.. After movie it was time for the games in the game zone and at the end it was Pizza time. So it was a perfect evening for all of us and everyone had fun. As soon as we boarded the Taxi, my friend suddenly turned to Pihu (her daughter) and said" Pihu, tomorrow morning you have your Guitar class. Your Sir just informed me, so be prepared". As if Pihu had heard thunderstorms, and heavy rainfall has started, she screamed "WHAT?" Her mom said" yes , you heard it right". And all of a sudden the happiness, the smile and the masti that we all did, disappeared from Pihu's face. She became very silent and sat close to the Taxi window. Meanwhile, Mahi (my daughter) on seeing her elder sister silent, went slowly up to her and asked " Kya hua Pihu Didi" And Pihu looked at her and shouted on her " Just go and sit there and do not disturb me" .

Mahi started crying, came to me and sat. We all noticed Pihu's behaviour. On seeing this , her mom started to scold her " What is your problem Pihu? Why do you always behave in this manner whenever you have Guitar class?? And why did you scold Mahi? Why are you ruining every one's mood after such a lovely evening?" Hearing this, Pihu also shouted on her mother "Do not shout on me. Even I can shout. I just do not want to go for the Guitar class. But if you keep scolding and shouting on me, I shall go. Is it fine??" Oh!! I could see red faces, both mother and daughter. I told both of them to keep quiet and discuss these things at home. 

Upon reaching home, I asked my friend, what is the matter all about? She said that everytime Pihu's guitar class is scheduled, she refrains from attending, she cries and that too in a manner as if something serious had happened with her in the class. Also that Pihu doesn't attend the class alone and a boy of same age in the same building also attends. I called up Pihu and started talking to her in a friendly manner " Pihu, just be calm and tell me what is the matter, why do you refrain from attending the class. Does your teacher touches you anywhere or scold you?? Or he hits you?" She said" he does nothing of all these". I asked" where is the problem then? Tell me, till the time we understand, we cannot help you and find a solution." So she said crying" He compares me with Arav (the other boy) always. He says..look he is learning so fast, plays so well and why don't you? I always tell mom that I do not like such comments, but mom says that I should avoid listening to all these. She says that I am learning guitar just for fun and not for any competition." I send her inside and turned to my friend " Drop her guitar class yar, kya hoga? Pihu goes for dance class and she has never complained about that and in fact she enjoys it. So if she does not learn guitar, there is no harm". 

My friend replied "In this way, Pihu shall never overcome her fear of losing and defeat. She has to learn that this is only the beginning, a lot she has to see with the coming time. She has to face a lot of competition in future. How shall she manage? Every time I won't be there to help her". I said " Yes you are right, but look at her condition, may be in the coming years she might understand herself. But for now, discontinue her guitar class or else she would lose the little bit of confidence that her little heart has. May be after a year she might come and tell you that she wants to restart her classes. This is only worsening your both's relation". My friend sighed..spoke to her husband and stopped Pihu's guitar classes. The next day Pihu came running and said " Thanks mausi..." and ran away. I could see the calmness and innocence back on her face. And also a big relief on her face.

I could not understand who was right ..Pihu or her mother...I just tried to calm both of them and listen to both. It happens with all of us as parents. We have expectations and we always try to make our kids strong enough so that they are able to face all the odds of the world and life. But every time we cannot be practical and have to listen to their innocent heart as well.

Happy Reading!!!

Why always "ME" ??????

I often interact with ladies who are home makers and do all the house hold work..even going out to buy vegetables, groceries...everything...No matter whether she is ill..no matter whether she is tired...no matter it is a Sunday.......but it is only work and work..Even we shut all our gadgets and computer at night..but she is on till then also and sleeps with a mind full of activities to be executed the next day....

They ask me ...how to come out of all these and lead a life that is independent?? I tell them...the first thing you start doing is read..at least a newspaper also..because that shall give you a new insight, a new outlook..things that you are not aware of and shall make you confident that yes you know things......

In this poem "YOU" is the world, the family, the people around us......and "ME" can be any one of you........

Happy reading

Why me in the Kitchen always???

Why me to cook always??

Why me to take the kids to park??

And come back and make tea always...........

Why early morning should I only wake??

Why should breakfast only I make??

Also prepare lunch for everyone.....

And all these efforts for me alone to take??

Why me to buy the groceries always???

Give you back the bill and return the balance always.......

Why cannot I keep the money back??

Why are you always there to keep a track??

SO I STOOD UP..............Breaking all the Barriers

I opened my books and learned

I read the pages and got myself drowned...

In the world of facts and knowledge

I shall stand alone...that is what I pledged..

I go out and I earn......

Never to look back and Turn.......

I am happy and Independent........

I am satisfied and I am confident......

I am a new ME now....

Would never like to explain you..HOW...

I look myself and say WOW...

Still I do all my house work...

But with all dignity and respect...

With my voice to control you...

With my confidence to stop you...

You made all these things...

For ME to do all work and ask nothing....

For ME to be dumb and say nothing...

For ME to be blind and bear everything.........

But I found my answers.....

And I found my way....

Yes it is ME...always...

And it is only for ME..always......

आम का मै एक पेड़ हूँ...

एक औरत ...एक फलों के लदे हुए पेड़ की तरह होती है। पेड़ की मजबूत जड़ की तरह, पूरे परिवार को बाँधे रख़ती है... अपनी तकलीफों को नजरअंदाज़ कर परिवार के लिए करती, जिन बच्चों को सींच कर बड़ा करती, बड़े होकर वही उसे भूल जाते, क्या एक औरत प्यार और सम्मान की हकदार नहीं...अगर औरत नहीं तो ये संसार नहीं..कहीं ना कहीं हम सभी ने ऐसा महसूस किया होगा..मैंने उन भावों को शब्दों में डालने की कोशिश की है

आम का मै एक पेड़ हूँ...

बड़ा...हरा..आम से लदा...

टेहनी झुकी हुई है मेरी...

फिर भी हूँ सीधा ख़ड़ा....

जो तुम आए मेरे पास...

लेने कुछ ठंडी साँस....

जब सूरज ने तुमको तोड़ा....

दुनिया ने अकेला छोड़ा....

सहारा तो मै तेरा बना...

लेकिन क्या तुमने मुझको बख्शा??

आम तो सारे तोड़ डाले!!!

टेहनी का हवन कर डाला...

जो मै थोड़ा शान से था ख़ड़ा....

वो भी तुमने झुका दिया!!!

और ऐसा ही किया उसके साथ..

उसकी ही छाँव ली तुमने...

उसके ही प्यार से पले-बढ़े....

और समय जब आया साथ निभाने का...

कायर की तरह भाग गए??

देख पलट कर एक वार तू...

मुझ जैसी ही वो दिखेगी..

जिसको हर पल तुमने नोचा....

"कमजोर बहुत है" यह सोचा....

लेकिन हिम्मत के साथ खड़ी मिलेगी....

आँधी की तेज हवा हो...

या हो बारिश बेशुमार...

गरमी का हो मौसम...

या हो ठंड की मार...

अपनी नींव सम्भाले हुए...

रहता मैं हमेशा खड़ा!!

वो भी तो ऐसी ही है...

डट कर हमेशा रहती खड़ी...

जीवन के धूप छाँव में....

लड़ती ही जाती खुद अकेली....

लेकिन मैं तो एक पेड़ हूँ....

आँसू भी बहा न सकूँ...

उसकी सिसकी लेकिन सुन जरा...

इतना रूला ना उसको...

आँसू भी तो पोंछ जरा!!!

वही लेकर आई तुझे दुनिया मे...

साँसें भी उसने दी....

नाम एक...पर रूप अनेक...

और हर रूप में देती  मिठास ढेर!!!!!!!

एक औरत है वो..पेड़ नही...

Even I get Embarrased Dad.....

Few days back I with my friends visited to a beautiful Water Park. They have a lovely 14 yr old daughter. We were all enjoying when suddenly I saw her father shouting on her. I went to her mother and asked softly What happened? Why is your husband shouting on Arohi?"

She said " Arohi wanted to go to those big slides and her father did not allow her. When she refused to listen to her, he started to scold her." 

"But see everyone is watching them, so ask him to cool down and stop" I said her. But she did not go to stop him, instead she replied " No it's ok yar. These kids are now a days becoming very indisciplined. They just do not want to listen to their parents and think that they are very grown up."

Arohi was standing just like a statue in the middle of the park. Shivering with cold and embarrassment. I could see her face getting red. And suddenly she shouted "Even I get embarrassed Dad. It is a public place. Can't you see that? Everyone is looking at me, I am feeling so bad."

And she ran to the changing room. We all immediately packed our bags and drove back home. All thru the time, I could see the anger and embarrassment on Arohi's face. 

When I narrated this incident to my husband in the evening, he said " There are many such parents like Arohi's father who shout on their children in Public Places. Shouting on a small child or a teenager..is same. To yell and shout is not a solution".

Yes, it is true. We as parents need to understand that even our kids have self esteem and they get embarrassed when we shout on them at public places. This is a very common practise that many of the parents do. We have to control our anger and try to make them understand their mistake. Either we can take them aside or we can scold them slowly at such places. Or else in return our child can also shout on us and behave the way Arohi did.

When my 5 year daughter taught me a lesson...

When our daughter was born, me and my husband promised each other , that come what may..we shall never raise hands on her..how so ever she becomes notorious, fussy, stubborn, keeps bugging us...then also. Though I told him that sometimes it is required to raise hands if the kids are going out of control. On hearing this he said " Why do you think that our angel shall go out of control? Why do you have that feeling? " Hearing this, I said generally " Because kids do that, they are very naughty and they sometimes do not listen to their parents, so a small slap does not matter". He gave a gentle smile and said" We would never let that situation come. It is true that kids are naughty, do not listen to us, and we do get irritated sometimes and raise our hands on them. But how many times do we think that if we try to control our temper and try making them understand with examples, listen to them and try to make them calm...may be things would fall in place.Because the way we treat our children, they might copy us and think that beating or slapping is the best way to win and make the opponent shut"

I nodded my head and promised him that we shall keep our promise entire life.

One fine sunday, we planned for a picnic.. I was as usual buzy with packing the stuffs, especially for our angel and my dear husband was cooking dishes for us to carry. And at the same time, our daughter started to cry and throw things here and there, I could not understand why? I asked her.. and she said I am hungry and I want to have a candy. I tried to make her understand a lot that she should have something solid or else she shall again cry out of hunger. As candy is not a stomach filler. On listening this: she cried at her highest pitch and I lost my control and said " I see you are becoming very naughty...you are doing this because I do not slap you, so let me start this practise and then you shall start behaving in the right way".

She immediately turned to me and asked in a soft shivering voice " Mama, is beating a right thing?" I was speechless and did not know what to answer. I picked her up in my arms and hugged her. I was just out of words. I calmed her, gave her a candy in her mouth and said " No beta, beating is not a good thing and I shall never beat you. You should also not beat anyone?" Happily she went out to play....

My dear husband was watching everything, he came to me and said" I know that you are worried about her teeth decay and also about her tummy,but if you would have slapped her..then do you really think that she would have cried stopping or had something solid to eat?? May be things would have been worsened". 

I sighed and said " Today a 5 year old taught me a lesson. It means that children learn a lot from our habits. And we have to be controlled and handle them tactfully and of course diplomatically".

Both husband and wife, together with each other's support can raise a child. When he loses his temper I calm him, and vice versa...because we live for our children. In today's tech era, when things are moving so fast and so our children's brain, we need to cope up with the delta factor that is in between the two generations...

And they Challenged their destiny......

August 2011, a beautiful rainy day, when Mithi was born to Ruhi and Aman. The happiest day in their life to be parents of a cute angel. Their life was going smoothly. Both of them gaining heights in their career, earning handsome salary, having all comforts of life, and now proud parents of a daughter. It was just perfect.

Things were all fine, until one day, in December 2011, when Aman called up Ruhi, who was on maternity leave at her native town and said “Ruhi..I have got an Interview call for Kuwait. Should I attend?” Ruhi, Aman’s college time love, his wife and now mother of his beautiful 3 months old daughter…said excitedly ”Yes yaar...why not. Please go ahead…you have been looking for an International opportunity. This is all for our better Tomorrow and Mithi’s future. So just go ahead. All the best”. And Aman attended the interview, cleared it and was offered a job. He could not control his happiness. He called up Ruhi at the same moment and said “Wifey I got a job. Three months of training here in Delhi and then I go to Kuwait.” “Oh! That’s great news Aman. I love U”. That night Ruhi’s mind was full of questions. Trying to find answers within herself, she slept.

Few days after, Ruhi and Mithi reached Delhi. That whole night Ruhi just wept on the shoulders of Aman.” How shall I leave all alone without you??We have been together for 17 years. I can’t think of a life without you. How shall I manage home and office together?” and tears went on rolling down her cheeks. Aman held her hands and said “You remember, we always dreamt of a lavish life. I always wanted to set up our own Indian Restaurant out of India and you want an HR consultancy. A high standard living that we think and plan to give our daughter. I am going for our better future. In Kuwait the salary is Tax free and it is the most powerful currency in world. So just imagine the money we shall be making and we shall be able to make our dreams live. We shall be able to repay all our loans, give an international environment to Mithi. She is only 6 months old now, and it is a matter of 1 year. Next year you both shall be with me. You and Mithi are my strengths. If I do not succeed in this one year, then I shall come back to India and work here. Currently, there is no risk at all. You are working and earning a handsome salary. Heading your team and having a wonderful career now. Mithi is also not of school going age, so we can afford my going to Kuwait. And, after a year, you shall be in Kuwait, you shall also get a wonderful job and we shall be living together. So for our better tomorrow sweetheart, please do not dishearten yourself. Or I shall cancel my going and stay back in India.”

“You are right Aman. We need to take up this. Just the thought of getting separated from you made me break down. But for our future and for our dreams, we shall have to take this step. I am always with you”. Ruhi and Aman, both never believed in destiny. What they believed was their love, their confidence in themselves and each other and last but not the least, their hard work.

31st March 2012, Aman flew to Kuwait. With lots of dreams and aspirations, Ruhi and Aman started to settle down in their own life without each other. Ruhi had her parents to take care of Mithi. She was holding a middle management position in Human Resource in a big firm. Her responsibilities were growing. She earned a handsome salary and her career graph was always steep.

On the other hand, Aman was struggling hard to live alone without family. But he knew he was doing all these for them and for their dreams.

Once in morning and late night, Aman and Ruhi used to talk over phone. Aman always used to talk about Kuwait and the lifestyle over there.  Both got themselves involved in their work so much that they hardly found time for thinking anything else other than to work for their Future.

Days passed and months passed, it was about to be a year since Aman had left India. He was back to India to take Ruhi and Mithi. Ruhi said “I am currently at a key position in my Company. And also I see a wonderful career ahead. If I resign and go, then I shall loose all these. My job, my salary, my career. It is really difficult for me to take a decision right now". Hearing this Aman said in a soft voice “, Ruhi, I know you are a career oriented woman. Do not worry about job. Within few months you shall get a job. I have explored the market over there”

“But it is very risky. What if I do not get a job?? How shall we sustain on your salary only? Because we have planned a lot of things. Ruhi is also 2 years old and shall be going to school in next 2 years. We need to have financial back up for her. Shall I surely get a job there?” asked a confused Ruhi.

Aman said lovingly to her “Yes of course honey, do not worry. You have a wonderful experience and you are talented, you shall surely get a job”.

November 2013, Ruhi along with Mithi left for Kuwait. One part of her heart was very happy that the family has reunited again, but the other part was very confused, whether she would get a job or not. But she tried to overcome her fear and wanted to live that moment. They could not believe that they were together with their lovely daughter. It seemed that all their dreams were coming true. Their tomorrow was happy and all secured.

Couple of months passed and Ruhi started to hunt for a job. It was not an easy thing as they had thought. Ruhi was getting calls, but she was not satisfied as all those jobs were of lower rank than what she had in India. Ruhi was getting miserable day by day. Aman tried to explain Ruhi, that she can take up any job in Kuwait and once she gains experience, she can switch over to another job. But Ruhi was not convinced. She said “Aman, I cannot compromise on designation. That too a rank lower than what I had in India. But I cannot start as an Assistant Manager. I was a General Manager dear.”

They had put Mithi in a play school. Ruhi was getting frustrated. She started thinking “was my decision wrong? Did I mess up my professional life?”

It was about to be six months. Ruhi was not able to get a satisfactory job. Things got more worsened, when one day Aman came back home late, he was in a different state of mind. He seemed to have lost everything he had....his face was hung down. He rang the door bell and as soon as Ruhi opened the door, he hugged her tightly and tears rolled down his cheeks. She had never seen Aman in this condition. She got worried. “What happened Aman? Please tell me. My heart is pounting. For God’s sake..tell me”.

“I lost my job Ruhi..I lost it”…………cried Aman

“What??”..Ruhi screamed

“Yes, the oil prices have crashed and there is serious economic break down. They have chucked out around 1000 employees. We shall have to fly back to India” said Aman.

“Oh. Is that so?” Ruhi could not control her tears. All their dreams seemed to shatter in front of their eyes. Both of them were jobless. Their cute Mithi was sleeping, ignorant of what was happening around her. What are they going to do now? Somehow, Ruhi stood up. Wiped her tears and said “We are in a soup Aman, we know. But instead of crying we need to find a solution asap. Let’s pack our bags and fly down to India. I know we shall both get a good job there”. Aman just nodded his head and both went to sleep. Both knew that they shall not be able to sleep that night……..yet they tried to make each other sleep.

“We are coming back Mom. Aman lost his job.”Ruhi’s voice was shivering but she tried to have control; on herself.

Aman, Ruhi and Mithi flew back to India after couple of days. Though the family was happy to see them but was also tensed for their future. Aman asked Ruhi “Can you give me one more chance Ruhi? You gave me last time, can you give me again? I know I cannot work in India. I want to earn money. I can’t let our dreams get shattered like glass pieces. We have worked hard a lot. And an economic crash down cannot let us down.”

Ruhi held Aman’s hand and sad “Aman, I trust you and your hard work. But you see Mithi is growing. We do not have much bank balance. And it is depreciating day by day. We cannot afford any more risk. Let’s be here for few years and then we shall go back again. But let us first get ourselves settle here. May be this is our destiny”.

Aman gasped “How can you talk about destiny Ruhi? Have you lost your confidence? It is us who make our destiny and we shall do it again. I shall have our Restaurant and Consultancy in UAE for sure. Just give me one more year. Imran, my friend has seen a job for me in Dubai. I just need to go and join there, yes the salary is not very high, but since it is his uncle’s company, there is no loss of losing the job. I know life shall be tough for us. If I do not take this risk this time, we shall never be able to get a chance again. This is the toughest phase of our life, I know we are running out of cash, neither you are having a job nor I have got a good one. But still I am determined to go. Because I trust myself sweetheart. But believe me I shall set things right. Please be my support and trust me.” and Aman pleaded Ruhi.

“I give you this chance Aman. But remember, I shall never compromise on Mithi’s comfort. Money or no money, Mithi shall get the best things that she deserves and wants. Lat time when you went, we knew that it was a matter of just One year; but now we do not know when shall we be together again. How shall I make Mithi understand about your absence. It shall be so difficult Aman”.

“I know it shall be Ruhi. But we need to challenge our destiny to bring back our past life and make our dreams go live. And together we shall do this honey” said Aman.

A week after, Aman flew back to Dubai. It was the toughest time of their life. Ruhi though was looking for a job, but she was in a very small town in India. She was not getting any job. Having a break in her career made things worst for her. Also Mithi was very small, and her parents were very old. So she could not afford to go out to work as she had to take care of her. Aman, though got a job, but the salary was very less. Whatever he earned, he sent half to Ruhi and kept half for him. Neither Ruhi was able to manage nor Aman. But their will power helped them to overcome all these odds. Every day they both promised each other, no matter what, they shall make their dreams and future secure once again. Whatever they have lost, they shall get it back. And the biggest promise…if one breaks down..the other shall make him/her stand again.

Months passed and one year was about to complete, but Aman had not earned the amount that he had thought of. Ruhi again insisted him to come back, but Aman was determined to stay there and work more hard. Ruhi, day by day was getting frustrated and miserable. She was just able to bear their miserable economic condition. There was a time when she earned in 5 figures and today not even 100. She wanted to help Aman. But how? She had tiny Mithi to take care. So she could do only a freelancing or a work from job. She discussed this with Aman and he agreed. Aman had never stopped Ruhi from doing anything and was a very supportive husband. He always encouraged Ruhi for doing what she wished for.

Ruhi started to apply online, search for work from jobs, do free lancing. But all in vain. Her frustration limits were growing high. She used to scold Mithi a lot, though later she used to realize her mistake that Mithi was innocent. One evening when Ruhi was out in the market with Mithi, she saw a Barbie and started to cry for that doll. Ruhi knew that the doll costed around 2500/- and she barely had 15oo/- in her pocket. She was totally dependent on Aman for him to send her money. Mithi was continuously crying.  Ruhi had promised herself that she would not scold Mithi. Somehow she managed to console her and promised to get a new doll very soon. That was the day, Ruhi challenged destiny. She called up Aman and said” It’s enough now yaar. If I am not getting anything in HR, if a career break means a woman is useless, I shall do something else. But I shall not let destiny win over us”. And she planned to take English Tuitions. The place where she stayed had no good English Teachers. So she started with her niece for tuitions. And Ruhi worked hard. Made posters of her Tuitions and pasted in the vicinity. Slowly and gradually, she started getting English Tuitions. So many that she started to have batches at her home. She could now take care of Mithi, and work as well. Her elder sister said “Ruhi you are doing a wonderful job. Teaching someone is the best thing on Earth. You are helping in creating Future”. Ruhi’s self confidence was back. She asked Aman to now save money as she was able to manage home with her Tuition earnings.

“I am very proud of you Ruhi. You have always set your standards high. Now I shall save money, first for our consultancy and then gradually we shall move ahead” said Aman to Ruhi on his trip to India. It was 18 months since Aman had visited India because he never had enough to buy tickets. Mithi was going to nursery school. She asked Aman “Papa, why do not you live with us? I miss you so much and you know Mama cries a lot”. He could not hold his tears back. He said “Papa is making a big house for Mithi and very soon you and Mama shall be with me.”

Ruhi had an HR background and she was very good at writing. Aman suggested Ruhi to write blogs, small poems, stories. Ruhi thought that it was a good idea. And she can use her free time. This would also help her writing skills to grow. After a 10 days visit, Aman was about to go. But this time Ruhi was not crying. Rather she was standing confidently in front of Aman and said “Soon we shall be together. We are half way and another half shall be soon achieved. We shall win our challenge over destiny”. Aman kissed on her forehead and left.

This time even Aman was relaxed that Ruhi had found her way. Aman had shifted his job and was earning pretty good. But this time he did not repeat last time mistake. He first started to maintain his bank balance and keep a part for taking license for HR Consultancy. On the other hand Ruhi’s English tuitions were booming and she had become a blogger. She had started to offer freelancing as a blogger to start ups.

And one day Aman told Ruhi over the phone “There is a magazine of our community that is going to be published in Dubai. Why don’t you send your write ups?” She was excited and she sent her best two write ups. And to her surprise they got published also. One of her poems and a blog became such a hit that a small company in Dubai offered her a job there as a content writer. She could not believe this. Her feet were trembling when she heard that over phone. It was 4 years since Aman had gone to Dubai and they have been struggling hard to live their dreams. Though the offered salary was less, but Ruhi accepted as she knew that this was her gateway to UAE...to Aman...to her future…to their dreams

Aman had also applied for license for their HR consultancy. “We won Ruhi. We made our destiny. By the time you are here, we would have got our license for our consultancy and then plan accordingly. I just cannot believe that we are going to be together again” Aman was shouting in happiness.

This is true story of a couple. Both of them really worked hard to give their daughter a wonderful future. This story taught me a lesson that both husband and wife together, should support each other. Neither the husband nor the wife is always wrong. Both their families supported them in their bad times and also in good times. Instead of blaming each other, they stood as a strong pillar to the family. For becoming great parents, both as Mom and Dad, we need to be great ourselves. And then we can see our child becoming a nice Human Being.

This story also taught me to Challenge the destiny… We can either accept what we are getting in life or we dare to live our dreams for our better future. Life is not bed of roses always. If Ruhi and Aman would have wanted, they would have easily let Destiny win over them. But their will power made them strong. Odds and Evens are part of life, what matters is that a Husband and Wife always stand together with each other and give their children a good future.

Happy Reading!!!!!