Monday 21 January 2019

Even the kids need some space

It was a beautiful winter morning. Our daughter was 18 months old then. After having our breakfast, my husband suggested to go to the nearby park with our daughter. I agreed and got her ready. She wore a beautiful pink cardigan, that was her dad's favourite. And we went to the park. As soon as we reached there, my daughter just slipped out my arms and started running on the grass..we could see the joy on her face. She was running here and there..shouting, playing with her ball, laughing...we just sat on a bench and saw her enjoy. And then she saw a muddy area and ran towards it, till the time my husband would have caught her..she was already in there..making a splash!! Gosh..that was a scene to see.. My husband shouted " Baby..come out of that, that is not hygienic...your dress shall get ruined." And I was laughing to my fullest... He came and said " Why are you laughing? That is such a costly cardigan..and that mud is not at all good and safe for her. Just look at her..what has she done to herself."
I calmed him down and said "Dear husband, just see her face and her joy. And nothing else. This is the first time she has come into contact of earth. Let us GIVE HER SOME SPACE and let her enjoy to her fullest. You shall see the difference in her when she she is back home". And that entire day she was so happy, did not make any fuss while eating, slept peacefully...
Just as we as an individual want some space, want to have some fun, want to break certain boundaries, want to be alone and spend time ..similarly our kids also. We should always remember that our children are also a growing individual, having their own thoughts, beliefs, habits. And so, to nurture them in a way they do not becoming defensive, we as parents need to give them some space.And I believe that there is no harm in it. Just try these few things with your child once or twice fortnightly..and you shall see the difference..
You can fix the days in consultation with your child;
1. Let them enjoy watching their favourite programmes on TV any day that they chose.
2. Let them follow their own routine (Like waking up late, not havin breakfast, and all the daily chores) on any two holidays in a month
3. Let them eat what ever they want on any of the Sundays that they chose.
4. Let them hear loud music, dance, shout, whatever they want to..on any of the days they chose..
5. And if they permit, join them in their gang and enjoy.
6.Leave them alone if they want to be, they shall themselves come back to you to tell.
This can be applied and modified according to the age group. It shall be tough at the beginning..but then we shall see our children coming close to us, follow our routine and time table, listen to us and shall not be very fussy.. The bottom line is that we should try giving space to our children for nurturing a healthy parent child relationship.

Wednesday 2 January 2019

My Secret Diary # newyearresolution

Recently my daughter purchased a diary from a near by mela. That's a secret diary because it has a password to unlock it. She was writing something on 1st of January this year. Once done, she showed it to me and I saw that she has written 'I love you Mama and Papa'. I kissed her and thought, her world starts with us and ends with us. She asked me if I also have a secret diary and some secret written in it? Her question triggered my thoughts, I remember having a small pocket diary as a kid. I always wrote my new year resolutions in that and used to show to my bestie. I still remember few of my resolutions, 'i will not eat chocolates', 'i will not watch TV', 'I shall never fight with my friends', 'I shall always share my comics and toys' and like every other child,  had cheat days and my resolution broke with a promise to myself that next year I shall surely adhere to them. Time passed and I entered adulthood. But my habit of maintaing diary remained same and never changed. Every year I bought a new diary and my first day of the year started with my new resolutions. Sometimes a 10 items to do list, sometimes 20 and some times 1. I started to tick those that I adhered to the whole year. Some more time passed and the world got shrinked to technology with smart phones. I was now a working professional but my habit of writing resolutions remained same, some colleagues laughed and called kiddish, some followed me, but I remained hooked to my habit.
One beautiful evening I became a mother, and I got engrossed in the motherhood journey. I forgot everything, I forgot myself. I left my job, became an author, a blogger, but sadly I forgot my habit of writing diary and making resolutions. And with this habit, I left doing my self introspection. I felt very sad when I looked back my last 6 years. Where was I? What all I loose? What all I gained? Did I improve or I was just lost in the world of duties and responsibilities?
I quickly opened my drawers and cupboards to find a diary and was lucky to get one old but untouched diary. That afternoon I sat to write my secrets and at the end showed it to my daughter who was my budding bestie. She read it loud...the most beaitiful thing that happened to me is my daughter and every year I shall try to keep the beauty as it is.