I wrote this blog of mine at the starting of 2018, lest aware that this shall become the Top 10 most loved blogs among 18000blogs posted at Momspresso (biggest parenting platform in India) and getting featured on their FB page...is no less than a dream come true as a blogger. Join me in this journey of mine....
Today I have my lost confidence back that a mother can do wonders no matter what the world thinks. Today I am a published author, a recognised blogger and a creative writer. I know this may sound quite small, but I win as a mother and as a woman.
When a woman becomes a mother, she forgets the entire world. Her only world is her 'child'. Her hobbies, passion, dreams, everything goes for a small nap till one day she realises that she has 'moretome', in addition to all other roles that she exhibits in her daily life, and this is what happened to me also. Here goes my story.
Our daughter was only 8 months old when my husband was transferred to Dubai. He tried to cancel the order but I insisted that he should go as it was a golden opportunity for him. I was not ready to move along with him to Dubai with a small child, also, my career was booming and I was earning in 5 figures. So I decided to stay back in India till our daughter turned 2+.
I never wanted to leave my job but being an ambitious person, I decided to explore the international market and thought that the family shall be together. So we flew to Dubai when my daughter turned 2years.
All my excitement of an international market started fading away when I was not able to get a job as per my requirement. I was rejected on the basis of being not versed in UAE labour laws. And with the passing time, the break in my career was also increasing.
It was about a year since we had moved there and I was jobless. I was very disheartened that I was not getting any job of my calibre. I was not able to accept my rejections. Day by day my morale was getting low. I was not able to believe that once an outstanding performer in a big organisation in India, is now hunting for a job. I felt like a loser. I longed to see the 5 figures again in my account. I started getting impatient and decided to return back to India again. I was very confident that I shall get a job in my country. My husband tried to make me understand that I should have patience and wait for some more time. But I was not ready.
Since his contract was valid for two more years, he could not come back before that. So I and my daughter came back to our hometown. And my hunt began. I was pretty sure that within days I shall get a job. But to my surprise, I was struggling here in India also.
The interviewers used to ask me " how shall you manage your child without your husband? You have dependent parents. We shall not be able to grant you leaves frequently" and some used to say " oh..you have two years of career break. You are not updated with the latest tools of HR. How shall you cope up?
I got shocked. I had worked as an HR Manager and had interviewed many such Moms who are returning to work after a break. But I had never asked such embarrassing questions. Is being a Mom an end to a female's career? Why is she asked questions such as who shall take care of the child? Why aren't the men asked such questions? Does a Mother become so helpless after a childbirth that people sitting in big organisations think she is useless?
But I did not lose hope. I tried for freelancing jobs, work from home, but nothing was working out. I even started to apply to schools. But to my surprise again, the schools said that I did not have the required qualification and so I cannot teach. Since I am not a Montessori trained teacher, I cannot even join a Montessori. How disgusting was that? A mother who is the first teacher of her child is asked for a degree to teach other kids. Frustration started engulfing me again. I became aloof from the society. Stopped taking calls from my friends. All my colleagues with the same experience as that of mine were excelling in there careers, and I was not even getting a job. I started feeling useless.
And one day, at an event at my daughter's school, parents were asked to do something creative they could. I could not think of anything, so I picked up my pen and then and there wrote a poem 'If I would not have been a girl......' my feelings and emotions all came out through that poem. It was very much appreciated at the event. I could not believe that I could write so beautiful.
This gave me a trigger as to why was I running after a job, I remembered how I always used to write poems, stories, speeches, dramas and a lot during my school and college days. How creative I was during those days. How could I forget that my creative writing landed me to work in one of India's leading Advertisement Firm? And I had won lots of prizes also. But all those got buried somewhere...deep under the workload of an HR Manager...beneath my motherhood...lost in the fast life. When I told this to my husband, he suggested me to write blogs. And I landed on the platform of Momspresso (earlier mycity4kids). My first poem was published by them. I could not hold on to my tears when I started to count the likes...the comments...everything was just incredible. I called up my husband and just cried and cried.
He said..now you got to know what you have and had more to you? And I started to share my experiences in momspresso. Got recognised as a blogger. I developed my own site and currently write on many other topics apart from parenting. My creativity encouraged me to form a startup. And today I am a proud owner of a small start-up dealing with exclusive Indian handicrafts.
And all through these dips and rises, never ever did I neglect my daughter nor my duties towards her.
It is said and I now believe that life gives us a second chance to live our passion.
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