Thursday 27 September 2018

So what I had an abortion?

This incident happened 4 months ago. I do not know this lady who I met in the clinic, neither does she know me. But I have a big problem. I keep hunting for stories, incidents around me that make me think, that make me understand parenting, and that make me understand another mom's situation. And so out of curiosity, I again poked in this lady's story.
I had been to a clinic to collect my thyroid reports. The counter person asked me to wait for some time. I sat on a couch when I noticed a very impatient lady sitting beside me. In fact, she was very restless. She somehow was not able to sit at one place. She was moving like a pendulum. And above all, her 5 year toddler was all around, jumping and playing. She jumped on me all of a sudden and started laughing. That lady (her mother) turned towards me and started apologising. I said it is okay. I then spoke to her in a soft manner, "Please don't mind. But I find you very tensed and restless. I am no one to ask you, but if you feel comfortable, you can share your story." She immediately held my hands and said, "I just had an abortion in 5 weeks of pregnancy. Post termination, I had my ultrasound and I am waiting for my reports. My husband works abroad. Though he supports me in every manner and he knows about this abortion, but still I am scared. I stay with my mom and she is unaware of this. What if the abortion has not been successful? I just cannot think of a 2nd baby". And her name was called for reports. She immediately opened, read it and hugged me tightly and said, "It's over. No pregnancy." What a relief I could see on her face. How cool she was looking. 
"Great. But tell me one thing. Why were you so afraid of this pregnancy?" I asked her out of curiosity.
"You know I am 36 years. I left my first job to take care of my baby. My husband supports me always. He works abroad. Raising a child all alone is very tough along with a job. I still tried managing, till she was 3 years old. He left for abroad when she was 6 months old. Though I have maids to help me, still, my body did not support much. All those nights when I was awake for my child, all those days running after her to make her have her food, then running to office and then managing the kitchen, wardrobe, and medical... it is really tough yaar. And, I get so drowned. Now when my daughter is 5 years old, she has fallen in a routine, I get some time for myself, to look for job, to exercise, go out for a movie, or even dine out. Very soon we both shall be joining my husband abroad and I shall start working again. This is the reason I terminated this pregnancy. I cannot go through all that again. And at this age, I know that I shall not be able to take care of a small child. I do not know if I am right or wrong. My husband is with me and he understands. All this time of abortion, my daughter was with me and was a big support. I was very tensed and now I am relaxed."
"Hmm…”was the only word that I could utter.
"I do not know why I narrated all this to you. But, I am feeling very light and happy. Can I know your name?" She asked.
"Rohini..." I said
"Thanks for listening to me." She stood, held her toddler, waived to me, and went away.
That entire day and till date I have been thinking of her and her story. Was she correct? 
Yes, she was in her own way. She knew her limitations. She knew what she wanted and how to manage. Abortion does not mean that a mother does not love kids. But what she said has a point. She is a mother but was not willing to be again.
Share your story if you had any such incident where you heard a mother whom you never knew.
Happy Reading!

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